How Coaching Changed My Life

I cannot remember how it came about that I decided to do a course in coaching. It was in 2013. At that time, I was working fulltime at a university in the North West of South Africa, but my family and I lived in another province. I had to travel quite a bit (our home and the main campus were about 1 200 kilometres apart). It was all the travelling that convinced us to move to the town where the main university campus was situated. I was supposed to start there in January 2014, and in November 2013 we began our journey up North – my wife, two children, two dogs, three cats, and me. I finished my first course in coaching the day before we left for the North West.

Since then my journey of self-discovery reached a different level. What I have learned from coaching is that change demands commitment, it does not happen without input, but it does only need one acknowledgement, one agreement, one decision to say: “This is it, enough is enough, my life needs to change. Today is a new beginning, a new perspective is born, a new life is created”. Keeping this commitment did not prevent me from falling back at times, but it motivated me to keep going. Now I know more, I know better, and we all know that knowledge cannot be undone.

In coaching, I have learned that:

• I am in control of my life. Most people, according to my knowledge, believe in some kind of destiny ─ a voice that is calling to you, guiding you towards a bigger purpose, for me it is Spirit. However, it is not that voice that makes you take action, give the first step, and move forward. It is you! You are behind the steering wheel, you are in control. You decide where to stop, where to turn left or right, or even where to make a u-turn. Ultimately, it is you who make decisions with the information available to you. However, you need to know the meaning of all the road signs, otherwise you are destined for disaster. Coaching provides the signs and direction that you will need to assist you on your journey, to become the best driver you can be.
• There is no fruit in blaming others. We are all responsible for our own behaviour. No one can make you behave in a specific way. You decide how to behave, and how to react. Your emotions and consequent behaviour are yours, yours to repeat, or yours to change. No one is to blame when you cry, shout, or curse – it is all you. You decide what to do with your emotions. You decide how to channel these emotions towards the best possible behaviour that will benefit you, others, and the environment.
• We are drowning in limiting beliefs. This was perhaps one of the most profound realisations I have had. We believe that we are not good enough, not strong enough, not brave enough, not clever enough, and not pretty enough. The list is endless. We are just not enough. It is these limiting beliefs that prevent us from flourishing, preventing us from becoming the best version of ourselves. These beliefs are also the ammunition we give others to use against us. Ultimately, we are our own worst enemies. Coaching taught me that I have the power, I decide what I believe about myself, and what I can achieve. Through coaching these limitations are dealt with, and I discovered that the sky is actually the limit. Limiting beliefs do not come into existence in one moment, they are created over days, weeks, months, years, and generations. Some of them are so deeply intertwined with the essence of our being, we are not even aware of them. BUT they are not our masters, they do not own us, we just need to take control.
• Listen to yourself and set goals. I learned that structure is good, even though I like to act on the spur of the moment at times. Coaching taught me that I need to have goals, I need to buy into these goals, but most importantly, I need to be sure what I exactly want. Many times I have made plans, set goals, and started a journey, just to be disillusioned and disappointed when these plans did not work out. But if I have to be honest, I always knew deep down that the route that I took at that moment, was not necessarily the one that would take me to my passion, my dream, and my destiny. I know now that my destiny is much bigger that I would ever have imagined. And that is also true for you. You have a magnificent destiny right in front of you, you just need to find the correct keys to unlock the doors. Coaching taught me to be in tune with my being, to listen to myself, and to operate within the bigger picture ─ a picture that is so much more than what I thought life was about. Coaching provided me with keys I never thought I had, and for the first time I can open doors that I never even knew existed.

These are but a few of the highlights of the things that I have learned on my journey. There is so much more. Join me, become part of a community that refuses to give up, because we know in essence that life is meant to be good, precious, joyful, and to be lived to the full. Stop believing the lies of limitations. Know that you decide what to feel, what to think, and what to say. It is your decision to either keep the blindfold on, or to make the choice today to step into the light.